Day 1 :
I distinctly remember this day because the MP from Wayanad had tweeted something stupid, and media had carried reports of how the leader has come of age.
The day starts with the missus cajoling me into making lock down resolutions. Done - why should only new year resolutions be broken!
Someone in my whatsapp contacts has received a message directly from Russia about lions being left free on the roads to force people to stay at home. No one would even think about spreading these rumours about China, as the lion would eventually end up being eaten. Gullible people in my whatsapp contacts, please forward this message to 10 lions to become the king of the jungle.
Suggested Viewing: This video by Abhineet on racism against people of the North East in the times of Corona.
The day ends with a group chat in Hangout with college friends. It was wonderful. There were 9 participants who were divided by geographies and timezones, but united by the belief that liquor should come under essential items.
Day 2 :
I distinctly remember this day because the Gandhi scion had tweeted something stupid, and media had carried reports of how the leader has come of age.
The missus and I still haven’t fought yet. Something’s gotta give soon. I can feel the eyes of Sauron fixated on me, waiting for me to make a wrong move.
Someone in my whatsapp contacts has received a message directly from the CM’s office about some drastic measures being taken in relation to the lockdown. Wish the CM had time to take drastic measures on how to tackle rumours. Gullible people in my whatsapp contacts, please forward this message to 15 MLAs to become CM of your state for one day.
Suggested viewing: This video by Vipul Goyal on what needs to be done with China.
We played housie over whatsapp and Hangout with the family. There was no mechanism in place to check if the numbers being called out by the ‘winners’ were actually in his card. Hehe, I had won.
I distinctly remember this day because the MP from Wayanad had tweeted something stupid, and media had carried reports of how the leader has come of age.
The day starts with the missus cajoling me into making lock down resolutions. Done - why should only new year resolutions be broken!
Someone in my whatsapp contacts has received a message directly from Russia about lions being left free on the roads to force people to stay at home. No one would even think about spreading these rumours about China, as the lion would eventually end up being eaten. Gullible people in my whatsapp contacts, please forward this message to 10 lions to become the king of the jungle.
Suggested Viewing: This video by Abhineet on racism against people of the North East in the times of Corona.
The day ends with a group chat in Hangout with college friends. It was wonderful. There were 9 participants who were divided by geographies and timezones, but united by the belief that liquor should come under essential items.
Day 2 :
I distinctly remember this day because the Gandhi scion had tweeted something stupid, and media had carried reports of how the leader has come of age.
The missus and I still haven’t fought yet. Something’s gotta give soon. I can feel the eyes of Sauron fixated on me, waiting for me to make a wrong move.
Someone in my whatsapp contacts has received a message directly from the CM’s office about some drastic measures being taken in relation to the lockdown. Wish the CM had time to take drastic measures on how to tackle rumours. Gullible people in my whatsapp contacts, please forward this message to 15 MLAs to become CM of your state for one day.
Suggested viewing: This video by Vipul Goyal on what needs to be done with China.
We played housie over whatsapp and Hangout with the family. There was no mechanism in place to check if the numbers being called out by the ‘winners’ were actually in his card. Hehe, I had won.
Day 3 :
I distinctly remember this day because a former MP from Amethi had tweeted something stupid, and media had carried reports of how the leader has come of age.
My emails tell me that so many companies/NGOs I have no effing idea about are standing in solidarity with me during these tough times. Ok, means a lot. Marked all as spam.
Someone in my whatsapp contacts has received a message directly from a doctor that the actual number of cases in India is being hidden. The doctors have decided to self-isolate themselves from whatsapp. Gullible people in my whatsapp contacts, please forward this message to 32 people and get a free dental check-up.
Missus is reading a book on Law of Attraction which says that if you strongly believe something to be happening, it will happen. Made a curry with Soyabari and Potato, believing them to be chicken in all earnestness and hoping it would taste like chicken. Well let’s just say it is a good book otherwise.
Had lengthy discussions first with Vivek, and then with Poonam and Tanushree on different investment strategies we can adopt in these uncertain times. Even I contributed with my punditry with the is/was/will be of the investment world. The missus then plainly pointed out that I don’t actually have spare money to invest.
Day 4 :
I distinctly remember this day because the former INC president had tweeted something stupid, and media had carried reports of how the leader has come of age.
Videos surface of people being beaten up by the police. The missus enquires if any of them are from my locality. I’m a little scared as to the motive of her enquiry. Checked the fridge - we’re stocked up for a few days. Some temporary relief.
Someone in my whatsapp contacts has received a message directly from a relative who had borne a baby girl, who turned into Durga and prescribed a remedy to tackle the Corona. Gullible people in my whatsapp contacts, please forward this message to nine people and grow an extra hand this Navratri (Bachelors or people currently separated from their wives due to this lockdown: no, I did not mean for that).
Suggested viewing: This wonderful ‘poem’ on staying at home.
Caught up on a couple of good movies (Ford vs Ferrari and Knives Out). Another online housie with another family group. This time tickets were being checked, and I did not win.
Day 5 :
I distinctly remember this day because the youth icon from Congress had tweeted something stupid, and media had carried reports of how the leader has come of age.
It’s Sunday today, no office. Lol. Tears. Lol.
Very disturbing news about the crowding of migrant population in Delhi. The ramifications are scary. Hope the authorities can stop their blame game and may better sense prevail.
Talking about better sense, it’s been over 100 hours and the missus and I still haven’t fought yet. The eye of Sauron is getting impatient with each passing hour. The Fellowship of the Ring has decided to meet on video calls, to social distance themselves. Good reviews for Zoom, but the free model has limitations, so Gandalf suggests that they choose Hangout instead. Someone in my whatsapp contact has received a message from Frodo that Samwise was actually a Chinese and has eaten Golum. Gullible people in my whatsapp contacts, please forward this to the whole of Middle Earth else you will turn into an ogre.
Meanwhile, in news totally unrelated to fights with the missus, the Mahabharat is being aired on National Television. Also saw ‘Theory of Everything’ today. Or was it yesterday, or the day before yesterday? Sorry to let you down Mr Hawkins, but I seem to have lost all concepts of Time.
Day 6 :
I distinctly remember this day because an accused in the National Herald case had tweeted something stupid, and media had carried reports of how the leader has come of age.
Played Housie for the 5th consecutive day, even acted as the facilitator in one of the groups. On his retirement Sachin had said that chants of “Sachin Sachin” would forever reverberate in his ears till he stopped breathing. If I play any more Housie games, chants of “Boggie Boggie” are going to reverberate for me.
Someone in my whatsapp contacts declares that he knows for sure that the lockdown will definitely extend for more than 21 days (perhaps heard directly from the Terminator travelling back in time from the future). Wonder if the makers of Terminator would want to make a movie on someone travelling back in time, failing to have factored in a lockdown, only to find the streets empty, and getting ‘dandas’ from the police. Gullible people in my whatsapp contacts, please forward this message to 21 people and the producers of Terminator will be giving you royalty from their next movie. Go on, Skynet is the limit.
By the way, how would you have reacted if 2 years ago someone had approached you saying he is from the future and that a virus had impacted the whole planet. He would have narrated that half the planet has locked down, and the human race faces extinction; industries were shut, share markets went crashing and the roads wore a deserted look; world leaders and health experts were urging people to stay at home to limit its spread. He would have given you a vial which contained a prototype of the vaccine and asked you to get it mass produced and ensure it is administered to every living individual, to prevent such a scenario.
He would have sounded stupid, right? Which brings me to my epiphany - what if Shri Rahul Gandhi is not stupid - only ahead of his times. You have the rest of the lockdown to brood over this thought. Stay safe.
